Why did the chicken join a Bible study group? To get closer to the peck-tures.

How does a farmer count his cows? With a cow-culator.

Why did the thief go to church? To pray on his knees.

What did the bread say to the butter during prayer? Spread the word.

What do you get when you play Tug-of-War with a Catholic priest? Nun sense.

Why did the nun go to the airport? She heard her prayers would fly faster.

Why was the choir director arrested? For conducting themselves in public.

Why did the fruit go to church? It wanted to find salvation in the apple-y ever after.

I asked a priest if I could listen to some rock music during Mass. He said, 'No, it's a heavy metal Mass.'

Why do monks have to be online by 9 pm? They have a curfew.

What type of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly-squats.

Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? He pasta-way.

How do we know that Jesus was a man and not a woman? No woman would ever wait 3 days to change her outfit.

Where is the first baseball game in the Bible? In the big inning.

Why do cruisers make terrible Bible scholars? They're always taking things out of context.

What do you call a group of men waiting for rain? The pray-sons.

How does the Pope communicate with his staff? By using the pontiff-icator.

Why did the pastor bring a suit of armor to church? He heard it was an armored service.

Why did the priest go to the beach? He wanted to catch some Holy Sea-rays.

What did one religious candle say to the other? 'I burn for you.'

Why did the monk cry during meditation? He reached nirvana-ty percent concentration.