Why did the pastor bring a map to church? He wanted to follow the holy path.

How do you keep a Baptist from drinking all your beer? Invite two of them.

What do you call two birds on a wire? A cardinal sin.

Why do vampires love churchyards? Because they can always count on a good stake.

What do you get when you cross a nun and a dog? A holy bark.

Why was the pastor's sermon like a football game? It went into overtime.

What did the pharaoh say to the Egyptian priest? Quit pyramid-ing your sermons.

Why don't jellyfish go to church? They're already holier than thou.

What do you call a religious chicken? A scripture pecked.

Why was the pastor's garden so successful? He had a praying mantis.

What do you call a nun with a spear? A sister-in-arms.

Why did the Zen master refuse a cup of tea? He didn't want to be steeped in tradition.

How did the preacher fix his broken computer? He prayed for a reboot.

What do you call a priest who becomes a gardener? A father-nature.

Why did the pastor bring a ladder to church? He wanted to reach new heights in his sermons.

How did the priest fix the leaky roof? He used holy water to patch it up.

Why did the rabbi bring a watermelon to the synagogue? He wanted to have a watermelon and say a melon prayers.

How did the preacher fix his broken sink? He called a plumber and prayed for a miracle.

Why did Noah curse the rain? It kept falling on his ark-alcohol.

What did the priest say to the skeleton? 'You have a grave look on your face!'

What do you call a group of musical monks? Gregorian band.