Why don't we ever hear pterodactyls in church? Because they're pterribilists!

Why did the zombie convert to Christianity? He wanted to be resurrected twice.

What do you call a group of singing dogs at a church? A howl-lalujah choir.

Why did the robot go to church? To find his worshipp-bots.

What do you get when you cross a bible with a cell phone? A call to prayer.

Why did the math teacher bring a ladder to church? To solve some sin functions.

How does a snowman pray? He puts his hands together and says 'ice' prayers.

Why did the skeleton go to the church fundraiser? To dance the bone-anza.

What do you call a bear that doesn't believe in God? An a-polar bear.

Why do seagulls fly over the sea and not the bay? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

Why did the chicken go to mass every day? To gain a egg-straordinary spiritual perspective.

Why couldn't the math teacher get into heaven? She kept dividing the angels.

What did the bishop say to the queen? You are heaven-sent.

Why did the pastor go to the gym? To work on his soul-pumping prayers.

How does Santa stay so jolly? He sleighs his prayers every night before bed.

Why did the nun join the basketball team? She wanted to make some divine hoops.

What kind of investments do nuns make? Nun-cents.

Why did the angel go to therapy? They needed some divine guidance.

What did the pastor say to the lightning bolt? You've really struck a chord with God.

Why did the astronaut join the church choir? He needed some space for his voice to soar.

What did the nun say when she walked into the bar? Forgive me Father, for I have ginned.