What did the nun say to the baseball player? 'Swing for the heavens!'

Why did the yoga instructor go to church? To practice his divine stretches.

What do you call a nun who runs marathons? Sister Speedy.

Why did the pirate become a monk? He heard there was a lot of booty in the scriptures.

Why did the ghost join the church choir? To hit the high notes.

Why was the monk always happy? He found joy in his monk-tivities.

Why did the astronaut believe in God? He saw the 'Cosmic Creator' listed in the address book of the universe.

What do you call a nun who's an excellent gardener? Sister Seeds.

Why was the banana so popular at church? It had a-peel to everyone.

Why did the tomato dress up for church? It wanted to be holy and ripe.

Why couldn't the atheist find his way out of the maze? He kept denying there was an exit.

Why did the chicken start a church band? To play some egg-citing tunes.

What do you call a dog who practices Buddhism? A zen-pup.

Why did the vampire become a priest? He wanted to stay out of the daylight.

What did the grape say after the priest stepped on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Why couldn't the bicycle find inner peace? It was always getting tyred.

Why did the atheist go to church? He wanted to skip the sermon and go straight to the wine.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun who makes jewelry? A roamin' Catholic.

Why was the pastor always calm? He found serenity in the Lord's WIFI.

What did the nun say to the musician? 'You're not playing hymns right!'

Why don't scientists trust gravity? Because they don't believe in falling for anything.