Why did the shaman refuse anesthesia at the dentist? He wanted to stay rooted in nature.

Why couldn't the mummy attend the séance? He was all wrapped up.

Why don't ghosts like church? They have no spiritual body.

Why did the monk meditate next to the tree? He was looking for enlightenment in the root of all knowledge.

Why do Sunday school teachers make great gardeners? Because they have a lot of faith.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a detective? Snow and clues.

Why did the atheist go to church? Because he heard they had free WiFi.

Why don't Buddhist monks ever vacuum in the corners? Because they have no attachments.

What do you call a group of singing frogs? A choir of croak.

What do you call a fake diamond in the church? Cubic Zirconia-tion.

Why was the belt arrested? It held up a pair of pants in a no-parking zone.

What do you get when you cross a jet with a church? A plane blessing.

Why did the farmer take his Bible to the cornfield? He was looking for some kernels of wisdom.

How do you organize a space party on Mars? You planet.

Why did the chef get kicked out of the kitchen? He couldn't keep his hands off the chopping blocks.

Why was the church building always in good shape? It had a strong foundation in faith.

Why was the Bible so good at basketball? It had great assists.

Why did the pope switch to a digital watch? He heard time flies when you're having fun.

What did the monk say when he found out he won the lottery? 'I've been blessed with good karma!'

Why did the spiritual guru refuse anesthesia during surgery? He wanted to experience the ultimate state of mindfulness.

What do you call a group of nuns riding bicycles? Virgin mobile.