What's a nun's favorite game show? Wheel of Fortune – because she's always praying for a win.

Why did the magician become a priest? He wanted to master the art of transubstantiation.

What do you call someone who steals from the church collection? The sermon swiper.

Why did the church get a new keyboard player? The old one kept hitting the wrong notes.

What did the pastor say to the coffee cup? I'll give you a sermon to go.

Why did the pastor bring a ladder to the Bible study? To help with all the high-level discussion.

Why was the bishop always calm? He found inner peace through chess – he was a bishop after all.

Why did St. Patrick drive all the snakes out of Ireland? He couldn't afford plane tickets.

What do you call a priest who becomes a gardener? A preacher who plants seeds of faith.

Why was the church bell always off-key? It had a bad clapper malfunction.

What did the monk say to the barista? Can you make me a cappuccino with extra monk foam?

Why did the nun go to the baseball game? She heard it was a perfect opportunity to practice her pitching skills.

Why did the nun go to jail? She was caught robbing the church's collection plate.

What did the pastor say to the angry congregation? Let us pray for patience.

Why did the vampire convert to Christianity? He wanted to stop sucking people's blood.

Why did the tofu refuse to be baptized? It didn't want to be pressed into a religion.

Why was the choir director hit by lightning? He conducted himself poorly.

Why did the atheist bring a ladder to church? Because he wanted to take a step closer to the ceiling.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful religious leader? He had a lot of straw-mat followers.

Why did the priest bring a ladder to church? He heard the choir needed a higher power.

Did you hear about the nun who went to the airport? She had a lot of baggage to confess.