Why couldn't the atheist find a girlfriend? He didn't believe in higher powers.

What do you call a fight between the Pope and the Dalai Lama? Lama drama.

Why can't atheists solve exponents? They don't believe in a higher power.

What's a priest's favorite tree? The fir-give-me.

Why did the preacher go to the dentist? To improve his sermon.

What do you get when you cross a Christian and a vampire? Holy water and wine at communion.

Why do angels never get in trouble? Because halos don't lie.

What do you call a religious cat? A purrayer.

Why did the monk meditate next to the printer? He wanted inner peace.

Why did the pastor always carry a watch to church? To make sure the sermon wasn't too long.

Why did the nun join the baseball team? She heard they needed a good catcher.

What did the religious tomato say before leaving? Lettuce pray.

Why did the Hindu god go to therapy? To work out his Karma.

What's a pirate's favorite religious text? The Aye-ma.

Why did the monk refuse to vacuum? He didn't want to suck up any bad karma.

What do you call a holy person who does math? A pray-calculator.

What do you call a nun in a sleepover? A robe warrior.

Why did the vegan go to church? They heard it was a plant-based congregation.

What did the pastor say to the broken vending machine? Pray and release!

Why was the physics teacher terrible at writing sermons? He couldn't find the right formula for inspiration.

Why did the rabbi bring a lawyer to the temple? He heard they were dealing with a lot of Torah issues.