Why didn’t Cain bring a vegetable offering to God? Because he already had an Abel sacrifice!

What do you call a praying mantis in church? A holy-roller!

Why did the choir director go to jail? He was charged with kidnapping – he took the music notes!

How do you catch an escaped convict in a choir? You set a trap with a net!

What happens when a sheep falls down in church? It leaves a ‘baa’ stain!

Why did the pizza maker go to church? He wanted to knead for forgiveness!

Why did the pastor preach from a boat? He wanted to keep the congregation a-float!

How do you organize a space party? You planet in advance and have a little faith!

What do you call a fight between the devil and a nun? A ‘bad habit’!

Why couldn’t the athlete be more religious? He always took the path of least persistence!

What kind of award did the angel win? A halo of fame!

How do you make a room full of Christians quiet? Turn off the Wi-Fi!

Why did the bread see a therapist? It had too many crumby relationships!

What do you get when you cross a prayer and a red-breasted bird? A cardinal sin!

Why did the pastor open a bakery? He wanted to rise and shine every day!

How do we know Moses and Alexander the Great were internet savvy? They both had tablets!

Why did the preacher start a lawn care business? He wanted to rake in the profits!

What do you call a religious iPhone? An app-stle!

What did the preacher say to the spider in church? Stop spinning webs and start paying tithes!

What did the nun say to the psychic? You can’t fool me, I’ve been in the habit longer than you!

What do you call a bear with a Bible? A grizzly believer!