Why did the ghosts go to church? They were trying to exorcise their past.

What did St. Patrick say when he drove the snakes out of Ireland? 'You're all hiss-tory now!'

Why did the angel go to the doctor? It had a holy fever.

What do you call a group of sheep who love to sing? A baa-choir.

Why did the ghost join the religious texts book club? It wanted to read holy ghost stories.

How do you get a nun's attention? Dress like a priest.

Why don't aliens play hide and seek with humans? Because good luck blending in with that 'extra-terrest-ri-al'.

What do you call a priest who becomes a pilot? Fly Father.

What happened to the cow that jumped over the barbed wire fence? Udder destruction.

What do you call a sleepy apostle? Nap-tism.

What do you call a devilish insect? A sin-sect.

Why was the broom late for church? It overswept.

What do you call a dinosaur who is a priest? Father Roar!

What did one congregation say to the other congregation? 'Our pew is better than your pew!'

Why did the pastor carry a watch to the sermon? To make sure he had good timing.

What do you get when you cross a chicken with a bell? An alarm cluck.

Why was the math book upset? Because it had too many problems.

What do you call a nun who's also a lawyer? A sister-in-law.

Why did the choir singer go to jail? Because she was caught for stealing the show.

Why did the turkey become a monk? It wanted to join the Benedictine Order!

What do you call a snake that became a priest? A hiss-ter!