What do you call a belt made out of holy water? A blessed waist.

Why did the psychic refuse to make a prediction for the priest? He said it was a lack of faith.

What do you call it when you lose your religion? A de-saint.

Why don't witches use Facebook? They don't want to be friended by people of the cloth.

How did the church fix its leaky roof? With a prayer patch!

Why did the elephant sit on the marshmallow? He wanted to roast a peanut.

Why are smartphones getting thinner and smarter? So that you can pay a premium for less.

Why did the teacher go to church on a Saturday? She heard it was a math mass.

Why do pilgrims' pants always fall down? They wear their belt buckles on their hats.

Why did the priest go to the baseball game? He heard they were going to have a good sermon.

What do you call a fight between several popes? Pope-ularity contest.

Why don't demons like to possess musicians? They can't stand the holy hits.

Why did the nun go to the dentist? She had a bad habit of not flossing.

How did the lawyer find the church so quickly? His GPS led him to the legal sanctuary.

Why did the choir go to the beach? To sing 'Seas' the day.

What do you get when you cross a witch with a priest? A holy terror.

Why did the rabbi start a gardening club? He wanted to plant a seed of faith.

Why did the monk bring a flashlight to meditation? To find inner peace in the dark.

How do you teach a cat about religion? Have it attend a purrayer group.

Why did the Wiccan bring a broom to church? To sweep away the bad spirits.

Why couldn't the bicycle find salvation? It was two-tired.