Why did the mathematician refuse to go to church? He had too many sins and cosins.

What's the best way to communicate with sea creatures about religion? Using a fish-ionary.

Why did the chicken read the Bible? To become egg-ucated.

Why did the chicken go to church? To hear the egg-spell.

How does a priest make holy water? He blesses the hell out of it.

Why did the baker go to church? To prove he kneads Jesus.

What was Jesus' favorite type of bread? Cruciferous.

Why did the choir singer go to jail? He was caught hitting the high notes.

Why don't monks ever play hide and seek? Because good men are hard to find.

How does Santa Claus stay so jolly? He knows where all the ho-ho-holes are.

Why did Noah only allow pairs of animals on the ark? Because he didn't want anyone to go overboard.

Why couldn't the astronaut book a hotel on the moon? It was always fully booked.

Why don't scientists trust atoms anymore? They make up everything, even lies.

What do you call a group of sheep playing gospel music? A flock choir.

Why was the gardener so spiritual? He had green thumbs from praying.

What was the computer programmer's favorite religious holiday? Ctrl+Alt+Del.

Why did the vampire convert to Christianity? He wanted to stop coffin.

How did the dove get to heaven? By playing psalms on its wings.

Why did the nun sleep with a ruler under her pillow? To measure her dreams.

What do you call an alligator in church? An in-denile.

Why did the scientist refuse to study the book of Genesis? It wasn't in his elements.