What's a nun's favorite dessert? Heavenly hash brownies.

Why did the pastor carry a ladder into the church service? He wanted to reach new heights in his sermon.

Why did the ghost join the church choir? To find some sheet music.

How did the butcher introduce his new religious meat line? With a ham sermon.

Why did the devil go to church? To collect some hellp.

What do you call a saint who's really good at math? A sine and cosiner.

How do fish celebrate religious holidays? They pray-fully swim upstream.

Why did the zombie convert to Buddhism? He wanted inner-peace.

What was the pirate's favorite religious text? The arrr-ticles of faith.

Why did the preacher become a chef? He wanted to turn water into souper.

Why did the teacher break up with the calendar? He felt like his days were numbered.

What do you get if you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a terrier? Hot diggity dog.

What denomination of currency do they use in heaven? Angel dollars.

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o'-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.

Why couldn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out, man.

What kind of car does a sheep drive? A lamborghini.

Why do ghosts love elevators? Because they lift their spirits.

Why couldn't Mozart find his teacher? Because he was Haydn.

If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would all be in paradise because they would have eaten the snake instead.

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? Because he sipped his coffee before it was cool.

How did the priest fix the flat tire? He used a prayer jack.