Why did the cookie go to church? It needed a little more dough-lation.

Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? Because they have a lot in common.

How does a vampire flirt? He bats his eyes.

Why do witches love to garden? They have green thumbs.

Why do seagulls always fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be bagels.

Why did the preacher go to the doctor? He lost his voice from too much shouting.

Why did the vampire go to church? He heard it was a bloody good time.

What do you call it when an assassin kills a priest? Holy hitman.

Did you hear about the chicken that became a nun? She got laid, er, prayed every day.

Why did the pastor bring a ladder to church? He wanted to take the sermon to a higher level.

I asked my priest for a wifi password. He said, 'We don't have wifi, son. You need to find Jesus.'

Why do cows in India not believe in eating beef? Because it's a sacred cow.

I told a chemistry joke in church. No reaction.

I prayed to God for a bike, but I know that's not how God works. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness instead.

If God sneezes, what should you say? Holy tissue!

Why don't some couples ever go to church? Because they fight like the devil.

As I said my prayers today, I prayed for the gym to open. The church is suddenly too heavy to carry myself.

Why don’t some people trust stairs? They’re always up to something.

Why did the chicken go to church? To get a little 'peck' of faith.

What do you call a group of singing bees? A hum choir.

Why was Noah the best accountant in the Bible? He could always balance the ark-ounts.