Why do cows go to church on Sundays? They want to dairy to feel holy.

Why did the monk refuse novocaine at the dentist? He wanted to transcend dental medication.

Why did the computer go to church? To worship the motherboard.

How did the religious quarterback improve his game? He prayed the Hail Mary pass.

Why do skeletons stay so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.

Why don't basketball players go to church? They already have enough 'hoop' to deal with.

What's a pastor's favorite type of footwear? Sneakers.

What did one preacher say to the other? 'I'm a big fan of your sermons.'

Why was the math book always calm? It had too many problems to stress over.

Why was the scarecrow a successful lawyer? Because he was outstanding in his field.

What do you call a sleepwalking nun taking the bus? A roamin' Catholic transit.

Why was the math book unhappy with its current situation? It had too many problems to solve.

Why couldn't the computer take its hat off? It had too many caps locked.

What do you call a singing priest? A pastoral singer.

Why did the lamp go to church? It was a light in the darkness.

How do you teach a fish about religion? Drop it in holy water.

Why do cows love attending church? They enjoy the choir moosic.

Why couldn't the engine find a religion? It's always revving up trouble.

What do you call a bear in a church? A pray-grizzly bear.

Why did the garden gnome become a monk? It wanted to find gnome-aste.

What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Chrysler, because he's always carrying cross.