What do you call a monkey in a monastery? A primate 'prayermate'.

Why do zebras make terrible priests? They can't stop horsing around.

What do you call a pastor who goes online for guidance? An e-vangelist.

Why did the meditating chicken cross the road? To get to the other side...serenely.

What do you call a nun with a sense of humor? A 'holy' comedian.

Why don't snakes attend church? They already have a 'hiss-tory' of sinning.

What did the grape say to the priest? 'You make wine out of me, I make whine out of you.'

Why was the online church service interrupted? The preacher's connection was 'divine-dropped'.

What do you call a spiritual bird of prey? A 'pray'-gon.

Why did the invisible man avoid churches? He couldn't stand the transparency.

Why did the pastor go to the bank? To make holy 'transact-ions'.

What do you call a duck that's considering converting? A 'quack-tiential' believer.

Why did the shrimp become a monk? It wanted to find 'inner shelled-f' peace.

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor who gave him the wrong change? 'Change must come from within.'

Why do penguins make terrible priests? They're always giving 'cold' sermons.

What was Jesus' favorite type of exercise? Cross-fit.

Why did the cowboy become a pastor? He wanted to round up some 'holy cattle'.

What do you call a nun who skydives on weekends? Sister Act-ion.

Why can't the religious skeleton play the piano? It has no organs to 'key' into the music.

Why did the Zen master refuse Novocain at the dentist? He wanted to transcend dental numbness.

What do you call a bear who's always praying? A prayer bear.