Why did the golfer go to church? To pray for a hole-in-one.

Did you hear about the nun who only ate figs? She was a real holy fruit.

Why do angels always carry a harp? Because it's too heavy to carry a guitar.

What do you call a religious squirrel? A pray-cious.

Why do vampires never go to church? They can't handle the holy water.

Why don't scientists trust atoms in church? Because they make up everything.

Why did the tomato turn red in church? It saw the salad dressing.

What did the atheist say to the religious pickle? You're kind of a big dill.

Why did the monk refuse to go to the disco? He preferred to boogie in silence.

Why do monks always carry a map? So they can find their enlightenment.

What did the preacher say to the font? Water you waiting for?,

Why did the shoemaker go to church? He needed sole searching.

I told a priest a joke about the Holy Trinity, but he said he couldn't believe in one-liners.

Why did the grape stop going to church? It was sour from being too holy.

I tried to organize a prayer meeting for vegetables, but no one turnedip.

Where do cows go on Friday nights? To the moo-vies.

Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion in France? There was nothing left but de-brie.

Why did the priest go to the airport? To get some plane blessings.

What do you call a holy vegetable? A praise-nip.

Why don't lions like going to church? Because they roar too loudly during prayers.

What do you call a group of angels playing instruments? The harp-strings quartet.