What did the pastor say to the dentist? 'Don't forget to floss for the Lord.'

Why did the astronaut bring a Bible to space? In case he needed some 'heavenly' guidance.

What do you call a church security guard? A 'holy' protector.

Why do angels make terrible chefs? They always have 'halo'd breath.

What do you call a religious elephant? An ele-pharisee.

Why did the robot go to church? It needed to recharge its spiritual batteries.

Why did the skeleton go to the church? To marrow (marry) his girlfriend.

What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frost bite.

Why did Noah only fish from the right side of the ark? Because fish are always right.

What time of day was Adam created? A little before Eve.

Why did the mummy become a spy? Because he could always wrap up the case.

What do you call a nun in a kayak? A rowing Catholic.

Why don’t aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

How do you know when God is sending you a message? You receive a heavenly text.

What is a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange.

What is a priest’s favorite type of band? A gospel choir.

Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down? They had buckle failure.

What do you call a fight between the devil and an angel? Demon-stration.

What do you call a nun on a scooter? Virgin Mobile.

What did the nun use to fix her computer? A prayer.

What did the policeman say to his belly button? You're under a vest.