Why did the preacher go to the doctor? He had a bad case of homily-itis.

How do we know that Job went to a chiropractor? He had a lot of back-breaking experiences.

Why did Noah go fishing instead of golfing? He couldn't find two of every tee.

Why don't we ever see hedgehogs in church? Because they're always at Sunday quills.

What do you call a group of musical saints? A choir of angels.

What is a priest's favorite kind of humor? Heavenly comedy.

Why couldn't the astronaut go to church? He needed space.

How did the tortilla chip improve its faith? It took some holy salsa.

Why do pastors make good gardeners? They have a green thumb for spiritual growth.

Why did the grape run away from the church? It heard they were going to be turned into wine.

What did the preacher say to the battery? I charge you in the name of the voltage.

How do you stop a bull from charging in a china shop? Send it to church for a sermon.

Did Noah add lettuce to his ark salad? No, he had to keep the animals in their cages.

What did the seed say before being planted? Let us pray.

Why did the monk refuse to buy a new computer? He believed in upgrading his inner software instead.

What happens when you mix a comedian with a nun? Holy laughter.

Why don't witches attend church? They can't spell their hymns.

How do angels send mail? By heavenly post.

Why did the devil go to church? To corrupt the choir and raise some Hell.

Why is a church a great place for a nap? Because it's full of pew cushions.

Why did the vampire convert to Christianity? He wanted to overcome his garlic allergy.