Why did the scarecrow get promoted to be a church leader? He had outstanding congregation skills.

Why did the monk refuse to pay his taxes? He wanted to keep his spiritual assets.

Why do atheists hate surprises? They just can't take a leap of faith.

What did the priest say when he bought a new car? Godspeed.

Why did the nun carry a penguin to church? She wanted to pray for a 'flakey' winter.

What do you call a group of overly polite monks? The convent-ionalists.

Why did the spiritual fruit go to school? To get a higher education.

How did the nun fix her flat tire? With some holy 'puncture' repair patches.

What do you get when you cross a gambler with a priest? Someone who's betting on a higher power.

Why do ghosts love going to church? They feel a strong spiritual connection.

What did the pastor say to the baker? Let us raise some dough together.

Why did the mummy join a religious sect? He wanted to unwrap his inner self.

Why did the mathematician become a monk? He found peace in integers.

What did the grape say after the priest blessed it? Thank raisin' me up!

How does a priest stay in shape? By saying his prayers.

Why was the belt at peace with itself? It had to cinch its chakras.

Why did the angel join the soccer team? Because he had heavenly footwork.

What do you call a group of musical priests? A chord of Brothers.

What do you call a duck in church? A holy quacker.

Why did the computer go to church? To hear the good News feed.

Why was the ghost such a good disciple? He always followed Boo-titudes.