What do you call a praying mantis that refuses to fight? A pacifist.

Why don't animals play cards in church? Because there are too many cheetahs.

How do we know that angels are good at baseball? Because they always make a perfect catch.

Why did the nun bring a ladder to the bar? She heard spirits were high.

Why did the nun start a garden? She wanted to grow a 'holy' tomato plant.

What do you get when you cross a witch and a bishop? A haunted bishop.

Why did the pastor start a chicken farm? He wanted to have a 'poultry' congregation.

Why did the priest go to the gym? To get some absolution.

Why did the angel lose at poker? Because he always showed his halo.

What do you call a nun who plays golf? A hole-in-nun.

Why couldn't the detective solve the case at the bakery? He couldn't find a good lead.

Why did the choir get detention? They were caught humming in class.

What do you call a holy dog? A bark-tized.

Why couldn't the pirate go to church? He lost his Bible on the high seas.

What did the priest say when he left the casino? I'm feeling 'blessed' tonight!

Why did the nun become a boxer? She kept taking on the 'sisters' in the ring.

Why do angels always excel in school? Because they have higher knowledge.

What do you get if you cross a priest with a bowler? Holy Rollers.

Why was the bee excommunicated from the hive? It kept buzzing during prayers.

What do you call a priest who becomes a lawyer? A man of the cloth and the court.

Why do priests always carry umbrellas? In case of a false prophecy.