Why did the chicken start going to church? It wanted to be poultry in motion.

Why doesn't God ever get a speeding ticket? Because he has divine intervention.

What do you call a religious football team? The Gridiron Gods.

Why did the cookie go to church? It was feeling a little crumbly inside.

What did Shrek say when he started reading the Bible? 'Ogre my dead body.'

Why did the skeleton go to church? To find his missing organ.

Why do scientists think Jesus was a caveman? Because of all the 'Neander-thalith' mentions.

Why don't they play hide and seek in Heaven? Because God always sees you.

Why did the vampire become a priest? He wanted to find the true meaning of eternal life.

Why did the bee go to church? It wanted to beehive.

What did the preacher say to the bee? 'Bee-lieve in the honey Lord.'

Why did the priest go to school? To get a little 'heavenly' education.

What did the nun say to the priest on the ski lift? 'Holy moly, it's nun-believable up here!'

Why did the angel sit on the chimney? Because she wanted to be on top of the holy smoke.

How does Santa Claus stay so jolly? He uses his elf-esteem.

How do you know if a ghost is Catholic? It comes back as a spirit.

Why do elephants never play hide and seek in churches? They always get caught up in the sanctuary.

What do you get when you cross a ghost and a snowman? A slippery slope.

Why did the zombie go to church? To shake a lot of other people's hands.

What do you call a potato that becomes a priest? A commenter.

Why did Judas always carry a flashlight? He liked to betray in the dark.