Why was the belt arrested? For holding up 'holy trousers'.

What do you get when you cross a church with a haunted house? 'Hallelujah-boo'!

Why did the angel lose at poker? Because he was always against 'hell-raises'.

Why couldn't the ghost find any friends at church? Because they were all 'spiritually' busy.

Which Bible character was a terrible driver? Pharaoh's 'drivers' in the Red Sea.

What do you call a stolen Bible? A 'robbing testament'.

Why do pastors make terrible gardeners? They only 'pray' for good crops.

Why did the mummy go to school? To improve his 'wrap sheet'.

What do you call a group of singing angels? A 'Hallelujah' chorus.

Why was the math book so religious? It had too many 'parables'.

Why did the skeleton go to church? He wanted to raise his 'spirits'.

Why did the grape stop going to church? It couldn't 'wine' anymore.

Why don't vampires like church? They can't stand 'holy water'.

What is a nun's favorite type of music? Gospel.

Why do monks meditate in the garden? Because they enjoy 'planting' thoughts.

What did Noah say as he was loading the ark? 'Now I know why there are no cats.'

How do you know when an angel is near? You feel 'heavenly'.

How did the psychic priest find his lost keys? He had a 'holy vision'.

What do you get when you cross a preacher with a bee? A 'hum-buzz'.

Why did the rabbi bring a ladder to the sermon? He wanted to 'raise' the roof.

What did the grape say to the churchgoer? 'Let us 'wine' and pray'.