I told my wife she should start a new hobby to relax. She suggested I try cooking.

I tried to organize a hide and seek tournament, but it was hard to find participants.

I asked my boss for a day off to de-stress. He recommended taking up a second job.

I told my therapist I feel like I'm invisible. She said, 'I can't see how that would be a problem.'

I tried to be more positive, but then I ran out of negative thoughts.

I asked my teacher if I could turn in my homework late. She said, 'Sure, as long as you're fine with failing.'

I told my friend I'm planning a surprise party for him. He said, 'Surprise, I hate parties.'

I started a diet, but it's going great because I don't have to worry about cheating.

I told my wife I wanted to be more spontaneous. She said, 'Great, take out the trash.'

I told my boss I have a great sense of humor. He asked me to prove it by not laughing at his jokes.

I tried to meditate, but then I got distracted thinking about all the things I should be doing instead.

I asked my doctor for some advice on healthy living. She said, 'Quit reading advice columns.'

I told my friend I'm trying to be more adventurous. She suggested I try skydiving without a parachute.

I tried to learn a new language, but I got lost in translation.

I told my wife I want to be more active. She handed me a remote and said, 'Start by changing the channel.'

I asked my therapist if I have an addictive personality. She said, 'I'm addicted to hearing about it.'

I tried to start a garden, but then I remembered I have a black thumb.

I told my boss I'm a team player. He said, 'Great, start by doing everyone else's work.'

I asked my dentist for tips on good oral hygiene. He said, 'Stop asking me questions and just floss.'

I tried to take up painting, but I found out I have no artistic talent. I blame the brush.

I told my friend I'm thinking of taking up running. He said, 'You should start with a light jog — like to the fridge.'