I asked my boss if he wanted to hear a joke about meetings. He said we could schedule it for never.

I told my friend I have a fear of heights. He said I should take a step down from that fear.

I tried to make a belt out of batteries. It was a shocking experience.

I told my wife I wanted to be buried at sea. She asked if I was feeling a little salty.

I asked my boss if he wanted to hear a joke about unemployment. He said he couldn't find the humor in it.

I tried to make a belt out of dollar bills. Turns out it wasn't a good investment.

I asked my therapist if she wanted to hear a joke about psychology. She told me to Freudian slip it in.

I told my wife I wanted to be cremated when I die. She told me not to urn for it too soon.

I asked my boss if he wanted to hear a joke about work. He said he was too busy to clock in for it.

I tried to make a belt out of old watches, but it was too time-consuming.

I asked my computer if it wanted to go for a run. Now it's jogging my memory.

I told my therapist I have a fear of clowns. She said that fear is no laughing matter.

I told my boss I have a way with words. He told me that way should be out the door.

I asked my therapist if she wanted to hear a joke about Freud. She said, 'I'd rather not analyze it.'

I told my doctor I have a fear of hospitals. He told me the irony was palpable.

I tried to make a candle out of ice. It was a meltdown.

I asked my dad if he could build me a website. He told me he was more into construction sites.

I tried to impress my crush with my knowledge of plumbing. She said, 'You're not exactly my pipe dream.'

I asked my plant if it needed a therapist. It said, 'I'm just going through a rough stem.'

I told my friend I have a magnetic personality. He said, 'More like a static cling.'

I asked my cat if it wanted to learn how to play piano. It rolled its eyes and walked away.