What did one eyeball say to the other eyeball? Between you and me, something smells!

I'm writing a joke about unemployment, but it doesn't work.

I tried to pull off a magic trick, but it was just an illusion.

Why couldn't the little bicycle stand up? It was two-tired!

What's a rock's favorite type of music? Rock 'n' roll!

What do you call an avocado that's been blessed by the pope? Holy guacamole!

Why did the baker run away from the dough? He didn't want to get kneaded!

How do you impress a baker when you're leaving? Leave them with a sweet roll!

Why did the rooster go to the doctor? He had a bad case of cooped-up-itis!

Why did the teacher write on the window? Because she wanted the lesson to be very clear!

What's the best way to carve wood? Whittle by whittle!

Why did the librarian get kicked off the plane? Because it was overbooked!

Why did the chicken sit on the computer? To hatch an egg-celent idea!

Why was the math test feeling confident? It knew all the right angles!

What did the duck do when it saw a computer? It quacked the code!

Why did the tomato family turn red? Because they saw ketchup!

Why did the hipster burn his mouth on coffee? He drank it before it was cool!

What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? Slip 'n peel!

What do you call a cat that swallowed a duck? A duck-filled-feline!

Why was the class book sad? It had too many problems!

Why don't some fish like to play basketball? They're afraid of the net!