Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was outstanding in his field (of corn)!

What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta that snuck into the pantry!

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired from all the commuting!

What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer ready to knock out the morning chores!

Why did the tomato turn green? Because it was feeling a little unripe!

How does a barber cut the forest? Straight through the hedge!

What did the clown say to the doctor? I keep getting these uncontrollable urges to honk people's noses!

How do you know when a joke is a dad joke? When it's apparent!

How do you start a parade in the forest? You leaf it up to the trees!

Why did the quarterback bring a spoon to the game? In case he wanted to tackle!

How do you know if a joke bike is too tired? It won't stand up on its own!

Why did the pencil go to the party? Because it was looking sharp!

How do you make a lemon stop rolling? You squeeze the brakes!

Why did the scarecrow go to school? To get a little straw-dy-taught!

Why was the magician good at math? He knew all the trick questions!

Why do vampires seem sick? They're always coffin.

Why did the singer go to jail? He got caught stealing the show!

What kind of flower doesn't sleep at night? A day-sy!

How do you make a waterbed more bouncy? Add spring water!

Why did the scarecrow go to therapy? He wanted to address his straw-nge issues!

How do you organize a space party? You planet with lots of extra-terrestrial decorations!