How do crabs send letters? By lobster mail!

What do you call a vegetable that plays jazz music? A tuba-cabbage!

Why did the tree go to the doctor? It had a trunk infection!

Why did the potato cross the road? It saw a french fry!

What do you call a shoe made of bananas? Slippers!

Why did the physicist spill their drink? They couldn't find the momentum!

What do you call a cat that swallowed a lemon? A sourpuss!

Why did the clock get elected president? It had good timing!

Why did the milk go to the doctor? It had curdled!

How does a barber cut the forest's hair? With treezers!

What do you call a comedian with no sense of humor? A mime!

Why was the scarecrow loving his new job? It was a real straw-mance!

Why did the comedian go to the doctor? He had a funny bone injury!

Why did the golf instructor go to the bank? To get his putter!

Why do skeletons make bad comedians? They have no funny bone!

What did one hat say to the other hat? Stay a head!

Why did the clock in the pantry run slow? It always went back four seconds!

Why did the scarecrow become a chef? Because he was outstanding at making corny jokes!

What do you call a deer with no eyes? No-eye-deer!

What did the fig say to the pear? You're a-peeling!

Why did the scarecrow win an Olympic medal? For outstanding straw-thleticism!