Why did the baseball team hire a handyman? They needed a good pitcher!

Why did the chicken sit on the clock? It wanted to lay and egg right on time!

Did you hear about the guy who injured his left side? He's all right now!

Why did the student bring a ladder to the bar? Because he heard the drinks were on the house!

What do you call a pencil that can do karate? A #2 black belt!

Why did the bicycle fall over at the circus? It was two-tired from clowning around!

Why did the baker go to therapy? It kneaded to get some help!

Why did the computer go to the dentist? It had lost its byte!

Why did the tennis player go to the bar? He heard they had great serves!

Why did the scarecrow win a Grammy award? It was outstanding in its field of music!

What did the green grape say to the purple grape? 'Breathe, man! Breathe!'

Why did the skeleton go to the barbecue? To get some spare ribs!

What do you call a factory that makes okra? A gumboil plant!

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come to you anyway!

Why did the two knives go to therapy? They needed to work on their edge!

Why did the comedian bring a ladder on stage? To reach the punchline!

Why did the fly bring a suitcase to the picnic? It was going on a trip!

What did the glue say to the scissors? 'Stick with me, and we'll cut through anything!'

Why did the potato sleep under the bed? Because it wanted to be a couch potato!

Why was the math book sad at the party? It couldn't find its x!

Why did the scarecrow win an award for comedy? It was outstanding in its field!