Why did the scarecrow become a successful comedian? He had the corniest jokes in town!

What's purple and conquered the world? Alexander the Grape!

Did you hear about the circus that caught fire? It was in tents!

Why did the paper go to school? It wanted to be lined up perfectly!

I told my computer I needed a break, but it just doesn't understand resting.

I'm great at multitasking. I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time!

What do you call a pencil sharpener that doesn't sharpen? Pointless!

Why did the robot go on a diet? To lose some bytes!

I used to play football in a wheat field, but now I play on a real team.

I'm friends with people who work in bakeries. Our friendship is the yeast of my worries!

Why did the balloon go to the party? To get some airtime!

Why was the broom late? It swept right past me!

Why did the scarecrow refuse to wear gloves? He was outstanding in his field!

I told my wife she should do more cardio. Now she won't stop running late!

I opened a bakery, but it was a crumby business.

Why did the scarecrow become a successful DJ? It had a great beat!

What do you call a chatty crab? A crab chat!

What did one ball say to the other ball? Let's bounce!

Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek? Nobody would ignore its spots!

Why did the tomato turn red? Because it found itself in a jam!

Why did the mathematician become a boxer? He loved using pi to knock people out!