Why was the math book sad when it fell down? It had too many problems to solve!

Why did the scarecrow win an award for tripping? He was outstanding at it!

How do you keep a fool busy? Turn this piece of paper over!

Why did the gardener bring a pencil to the cornfield? To draw corn rows!

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? A cookie sheet!

What did one banana say to the other? I find you very a-peeling!

Why did the bicycle fall over at the party? It was two tired!

What did one wall say to the other wall on Halloween? 'I'll meet you at the corner if you don't scare me first!'

Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two-tired from all the spinning!

How does a snowman stay cool? By standing close to the fridge!

What did the janitor say when he jumped out from behind the fence? 'Supplies!'

Why did the basketball go to the dance? It heard they were going to play 'slam dunk' music!

I was fired from the calendar factory for taking too many days off.

I can cut an avocado perfectly in half. It's all about pit control!

My friend is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

I tried to take a selfie while hiking, but I ended up with a fall-fie instead.

I accidentally drank some food coloring. The doctor says I'm okay, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.

I'm friends with a freeloading magician. He's always pulling tricks.

I make fun of people who can't afford regular size sneakers. They're lack-toes intolerant.

I finally got around to reading my spam emails. Apparently, I love local singles in my area!

I was going to tell a gay time travel joke, but it was too ahead of its time.