I'm friends with a loan shark, but I'm afraid he's going to break my legs.

I'm friends with a construction worker, I always have someone to lean on.

I found out my toaster isn't waterproof. I felt shocked.

I'm good at solving jigsaw puzzles. They really fit my pieces together.

I almost got hit in the face with a tennis ball. It was a close shave.

Why did the bicycle fall over when it saw the motorcycle? It was two-tired.

Why did the rubber band refuse to play with the other toys? It was too stretched.

I used to be a crime scene investigator, but I couldn't see myself doing it anymore.

I'm friends with a construction worker, he really knows how to hammer it in!

Why did the mime go to the doctor? He couldn't stop pulling his leg.

Why did the basketball go to the team's barbecue? It heard they were going to have a ball!

What do you call a comedian who wears armor? A stand-up knight!

I'm really good at water polo. I can ride all the way to the deep end!

I'm developing a new comedy routine about puns. It's a real play on words.

I'm training to be a velociraptor coach. It's a roaring success!

Why was the math book sad at the comedy show? It had too many square roots!

What do you call a bull that likes to fight? Beefy!

What do you call a belt made out of paper? A waist of stationery!

Why did the volleyball team go to the bakery? For some good serves!

What did one hat say to another hat on Valentine's Day? You stole my heart!

Why did the bell go to school? To get clued in!