Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, history was written in stone tablets.

Yo mama is so short, she makes cookies on CDs.

Yo mama is so lazy, she went to an overeating competition and failed to show up.

Yo mama is so dumb, she saw a billboard for 'The Exorcist' and thought it was a workout program.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't exercise, she hires someone to breathe for her.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't even move during an earthquake.

Yo mama is so short, she pole vaults through a straw.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't garden, she lets the weeds take over.

Yo mama is so ugly, Tinder matched her with everyone.

Yo mama is so hot, when she walks into a room, the candles light themselves.

Yo mama is so hot, she makes the devil sweat.

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her where the nearest bathroom was, she pointed to the bushes outside.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went to the spa, they offered to braid her back hair.

Yo mama is so tall, when she plays hopscotch, she uses skyscrapers as her markers.

Yo mama is so cheap, when she takes you out, she carries coupons for free hugs.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, they didn't have PE class, they had 'Practical Exercise'.

Yo mama is so slow, when she went to the races, they changed it to a snail marathon.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, there was only one history book: 'Her Memoirs'.

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her where the nearest Starbucks was, she pointed to her kitchen.

Yo mama is so tall, when she does a cartwheel, she kicks Jesus in the face.

Yo mama is so short, when she tried to jump over a puddle, she drowned.