Yo mama is so short, when she needs something from the top shelf, she just buys a ladder.

Yo mama is so cheap, when she found a nickel, she thought she won the lottery.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she hears the ice cream truck, she sends the kids to get her a cone.

Yo mama is so short, when she pole vaults, she jumps over dust bunnies.

Yo mama is so short, she uses a squirrel as a seeing-eye dog.

Yo mama is so cheap, when she saw a penny, she waved a metal detector over it to see if there were more.

Yo mama is so clumsy, when she tries to juggle, she ends up throwing the balls at herself.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes in for a haircut, the barber asks if she wants a Brazilian.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she went to the doctor for a check-up, he asked her to roll over and she said she would do it next time.

Yo mama is so short, she uses a yardstick as a ski pole.

Yo mama is so cheap, when she found a penny on the ground, she hired a metal detector to find the other side.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she heard it was time to move her car for street cleaning, she just put an 'Out of Order' sign on it.

Yo mama is so cheap, when she went to the beach, she brought her own sand.

Yo mama is so old, when she watches TV, she's actually watching a rerun of the Big Bang.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she got a job as a lifeguard, she sat in a floatie chair with a drink umbrella.

Yo mama is so clumsy, when she went to the zoo, the animals gave her bananas to keep her away.

Yo mama is so greasy, when she applied for a job at McDonald's, she slipped through the vent and started working.

Yo mama is so slow, when she tried to log into Instagram, it was a throwback Thursday.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she got a job as a tester, she tested positive for being lazy.

Yo mama is so ugly, at the strip club they pay her to keep her clothes on.

Yo mama is so filthy, when she walks by the garbage can, it takes itself out.