Yo mama is so dirty, she makes a pigpen look like a spa.

Yo mama is so hairy, people mistake her for Cousin It.

Yo mama is so slow, she watches the microwave count down for entertainment.

Yo mama is so old, that when she looks at pictures of her younger self, the static makes her age even more.

Yo mama is so short, she pole vaults over a dime.

Yo mama is so dirty, when she goes to clean her room, she finds new life forms.

Yo mama is so slow, she watches paint dry for entertainment.

Yo mama is so lazy, she thought the treadmill was a new fangled couch.

Yo mama is so short, when she sits on the ground, her feet still touch the floor.

Yo mama is so dirty, even dirt looks at her and goes 'ew'.

Yo mama is so ugly, she turns Medusa to stone.

Yo mama is so short, she skydives off curbs.

Yo mama is so dirty, her shower is registered as a toxic waste dump.

Yo mama is so slow, she watches the sunset on a time lapse.

Yo mama is so lazy, she got fired from the calendar-making factory for taking too many days off.

Yo mama is so dumb, she asked for a refund on a puzzle because she thought it was missing a piece.

Yo mama is so short, she does backflips under the doorway.

Yo mama is so ugly, the mirror takes breaks when she walks by.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't even chew her own food.

Yo mama is so lazy, she got kicked out of a hot dog eating contest for sleeping.

Yo mama is so short, she can do a backflip under a Dorito.