Yo mama is so cheap, when she goes to the dollar store, they owe her money.

Yo mama is so dark, she leaves fingerprints on charcoal.

Yo mama is so flat, the last time she felt a breast was in a KFC bucket.

Yo mama is so old, her birth-certificate says 'Expired' on it.

Yo mama is so old, she knew King Arthur when he was just a squire.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't work out, she works in.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she does the hokey pokey and jumps out the window.

Yo mama is so lazy, she uses a tortoise as a treadmill.

Yo mama is so fat, when she sits on a penny, she makes Abraham Lincoln scream for mercy.

Yo mama is so old, she knew Sherlock Holmes when he was still in elementary school.

Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to the circus, the elephants throw her peanuts.

Yo mama is so old, she knew Yoda when he was just a tadpole.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she lifted her arms, Bigfoot waved back.

Yo mama is so old, she has a separate history class just for her memories.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went to the beach, she got mistaken for a mermaid.

Yo mama is so hairy, she went to the barber shop and said, 'Give me the chia pet special.'

Yo mama is so clumsy, she tripped over a flat line.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks past the bank, the cameras turn off.

Yo mama is so fat, when she jumps into the ocean, she creates a tsunami warning.

Yo mama is so poor, she hangs a picture of a paycheck on the wall for motivation.

Yo mama is so hairy, she grooms Bigfoot.