Yo mama is so old, her birthday cake looks like a mandala art.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she goes to work, she clocks out for breaks.

Yo mama is so old, when she tripped and fell, she created a Grand Canyon.

Yo mama is so short, she does backflips on a postage stamp.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she takes a shower, Bigfoot's cousin visits.

Yo mama is so fat, when she jumps, she gets stuck in the earth's orbit.

Yo mama is so short, she goes bungee jumping off a taco.

Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to a restaurant, they have to roll her out.

Yo mama is so short, she makes cookies with a tic-tac cutter.

Yo mama is so old, she knew the author of the Ten Commandments.

Yo mama is so stupid, she tried to alphabetize a bag of M&M's.

Yo mama is so poor, when she won the lottery, she had to pay the taxes in installments.

Yo mama is so poor, when I ring the doorbell, she says 'Ding Dong Corporation.'

Yo mama is so dumb, she asked me what thanksgiving is for.

Yo mama is so fat, when she went to the zoo, the elephants started throwing peanuts at her.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, it breaks.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she gets a haircut, they ask her to sign a waiver.

Yo mama is so short, she tried to commit suicide by jumping off the curb.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't chase boys, she swats at them.

Yo mama is so lazy, instead of cooking, she heats up the house.

Yo mama is so old, when she was born, the Dead Sea was just getting sick.