Yo mama is so hairy, she stars in Sasquatch documentaries.

Yo mama is so old, she knew Yoda as a youngling.

Yo mama is so old, she knew Abraham Lincoln when he was in diapers.

Yo mama is so fat, when she jumped for joy, she got stuck.

Yo mama is so hairy, animals mistake her for a jungle.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went to the zoo, they thought she was the new exhibit.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she trips over her shoelaces when she's barefoot.

Yo mama is so short, you can see her feet on her ID photo.

Yo mama is so fat, her blood type is Nutella.

Yo mama is so poor, she waves around a breadcrumb and calls it a feast.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't dust the house, she invents the first dust bunnies.

Yo mama is so old, she knew the Flintstones when they were just rocks.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, psychology was called mind reading.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for selfies in panoramic mode.

Yo mama is so old, she remembers when the Grand Canyon was just a ditch.

Yo mama is so short, she models for Legos.

Yo mama is so fat, when she walks down the street, people yell 'Earthquake!'

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't even sweat, she perspires ambition.

Yo mama is so short, she parachutes off curbs.

Yo mama is so hairy, her armpit hair has split ends.

Yo mama is so dumb, she bought a spoon to dig a hole.