Yo mama is so lazy, she considers her daily step goal to be scooting her chair closer to the fridge.

Yo mama is so old, she farts out dust clouds.

Yo mama is so dumb, she put a quarter in the swear jar.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the fur salon, they call for backup.

Yo mama is so dumb, she brought a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't have dreams, she has nap-isodes.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she hears someone knocking, she sends her kids to answer the door.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she went to a firing range to learn how to shoot herself.

Yo mama is so short, she does push-ups under the door to close it.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she couldn't find the staircase to heaven.

Why did Yo mama bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't do the wave at a soccer game, she does the ripple.

Yo mama is so small, she uses a Dorito as a hang glider.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she gave birth to you, you were more carpet burn than baby.

Yo mama is so big, when she plays hopscotch, she goes to Jupiter and back.

Yo mama is so greasy, when she walks into KFC, the workers use her to fry chicken.

Yo mama is so dull, it takes her two hours to watch '60 Minutes'.

Yo mama is so cheap, when she heard the price of gas was going up, she bought a bike.

Yo mama is so old, she knew the Great Wall of China when it was just an okay fence.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she tripped over a wireless cell phone.

Yo mama is so short, she goes hang gliding on a Dorito.