Yo mama so short, she pole vaults over curbs.

Yo mama so fat, she needs a selfie stick just to capture her whole body.

Yo mama so lazy, she doesn't send text messages, she sends postcards.

Yo mama so short, she drives a matchbox car.

Yo mama so cheap, she cuts her own hair with safety scissors.

Yo mama so old, she took a selfie and it was an oil painting.

Yo mama so hairy, her armpit hair has more volume than her head hair.

Yo mama so poor, she waves around a blank check and calls it a lottery ticket.

Yo mama so short, she bungee jumps off the curb.

Yo mama so fat, she carries her own zip code.

Yo mama so lazy, when she wears socks, she counts them as shoes.

Yo mama so lazy, she went to a job fair looking for a rest time.

Yo mama so short, she makes cookies on a Ritz cracker.

Yo mama so fat, Dunkin' Donuts changed their slogan to 'America eats what Yo mama runs on'.

Yo mama so impressive, even Google can't keep up with her search history.

Yo mama so boring, her car stereo only plays lectures on astrophysics.

Yo mama so forgetful, she went to a concert and asked the band for their autographs.

Yo mama so sweet, she puts sugar on sugar and calls it a balanced diet.

Yo mama so old, she knew Gandalf before he had a beard.

Yo mama so stupid, she bought a solar-powered flashlight.

Yo mama so skinny, she hula hoops with a Cheerio.