Yo mama is so lazy, when she goes to bed, she tucks in her alarm clock.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the salon, they have to give her a jungle discount.

Yo mama is so short, when she jumps up and down, she lands in two different time zones.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went to the barber, they asked her if she wanted a biannual or semiannual cut.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she once tripped over a wireless phone booth.

Yo mama is so fat, when she walks by the TV, you miss a whole season.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she needs to get somewhere, she calls a cab to drive her to the other side of the couch.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she went to the zoo, the zookeepers tried to put her in the monkey enclosure.

Yo mama is so fat, when she eats at a restaurant, she fills up a booth.

Yo mama is so old, she remembers when rainbows were in black and white.

Yo mama is so stupid, she put two quarters in her ears and thought she was listening to 50 Cent.

Yo mama is so ugly, even Scooby-Doo couldn't solve that mystery.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she couldn't even walk out of a bar stool.

Yo mama is so old, she babysat Yoda when he was a child.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't even have a bucket list, she has a 'don't do' list.

Yo mama is so poor, she waves around a hot dog and calls it lunch.

Yo mama is so short, when she sits on the curb, her feet dangle in the air.

Yo mama is so hairy, when she goes to the beauty salon, they charge her for a tropical rainforest.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she tripped over a wireless landline phone.

Yo mama is so fat, when she jumps in the ocean, the tide comes in.

Yo mama is so short, she poses for selfies with Lego people.