Yo mama is so old, she knows the recipe for ambrosia.

Yo mama is so short, she skydives on a cocktail umbrella.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't even brush her teeth, she just uses a tongue depressor.

Yo mama is so hairy, she braids her eyebrows.

Yo mama is so weak, she couldn't even punch her way out of a paper bag.

Yo mama is so lazy, her idea of exercise is reaching for the remote.

Yo mama is so lazy, she calls a 2-minute egg a 'hard-boiled marathon.'

Yo mama is so ugly, when she took a selfie, her phone called for backup.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she goes to bed, she says 'I'm going to get my 8 hours of horizontal.'

Yo mama is so ugly, when she looks in the mirror, it looks the other way.

Yo mama is so dirty, she washes her clothes in a birdbath.

Yo mama is so old, dinosaurs bring her flowers.

Yo mama is so short, she does the limbo under a taco.

Yo mama is so lazy, she takes a nap before going to bed.

Yo mama is so stupid, she took a ladder to a football game.

Yo mama is so dirty, when she goes to take a shower, the water jumps out and runs away.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she trips over her shoelaces.

Yo mama is so weak, she couldn't even open a can of whoopass.

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't exercise, she jogs her memory.

Yo mama is so poor, when I asked her what's in the cupboard, she said 'Spiderwebs.'

Yo mama is so stupid, she used a ruler to measure how long she slept.