Yo mama is so loud, people mistake her for a walking speaker system.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she walks past a graveyard, the dead rise just to move away.

Yo mama is so dirty, the roaches left a note saying 'Clean up your act'.

Yo mama is so old, she's still on MySpace trying to find Tom.

Yo mama is so nasty, she uses pickle juice as air freshener.

Yo mama is so wrinkly, she makes Yoda look smooth.

Yo mama is so lazy, when she burped, she said 'Excuse me' the next day.

Yo mama is so cheap, when she gets cold, she stands in the corner because it's always 90 degrees.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she slipped on a banana and when she got up, she was missing a slipper.

Yo mama is so short, she makes pillows out of sugar packets to reach the table.

Yo mama is so cheap, she hangs earrings on her curtains to call it window dressing.

Yo mama is so old, when she was in school, they wrote history textbooks about her.

Yo mama is so ugly, she has to tie a pork chop around her neck to get the dogs to play with her.

Yo mama is so cheap, when she lights a candle for dinner, she uses it for heat afterwards.

Yo mama is so poor, she sticks her face out the window just to get a free facial.

Yo mama is so hairy, she got a part in a Planet of the Apes movie.

Yo mama is so ugly, when she sat at the bar, the bartender said 'Sorry, we don't serve animals.'

Yo mama is so lazy, she got a second job just to get fired.

Yo mama is so clumsy, when she played in the sandbox, the cat buried her.

Yo mama is so cheap, she puts air freshener on each individual toe instead of buying socks.

Yo mama is so clumsy, she got fired from a calendar factory for missing days.