What was the snail doing on the highway? About one mile a day.

What do you call a cat that plays the guitar? A whisker-tarist.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no tail in a tornado? Still no eye-deer.

Why was the lion's wardrobe always empty? Because he had pride in his nakedness.

What do you call a bear with no teeth eating a jar of honey? A gummy-bear.

Why did the tree go to the dentist? It had a lot of bark but no bite.

Why did the kangaroo stop shaving? It didn't want to lose its bounce.

What do you call a bear with no teeth at the dentist? Toothless.

Why don't birds use computers? They don't like Tweeting.

What do you call a turkey that plays video games? A gamer-gobble.

Why did the dolphin break up with the whale? It just didn't seem to click.

What do you call a cow that just had a baby? Decalf.

What do you call a room full of cats? A purr-ty.

What do you get when you cross a cat and a canary? Purr-ity.

What do you call a bear that doesn't believe in violence? A pawsivist.

Why don't koalas have time to get married? They have too many eucalyptus trees to hug.

What do you call a group of musical hedgehogs? A prickly quartet.

Why was the horse having trouble running races? It was a little hoarse.

What do you call a dancing sheep? A baa-llerina.

What do you call a bear with no teeth and a speech impediment? A gummy-bear.

What do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no tail in a river? A no-eye-deer.