Jokes featuring animals, often anthropomorphized or absurd.
Why did the crab never share his toys? Because he was too shellfish.
Why did the frog bring a mirror to the pond? To see its own reflection ribbiting back.
Why don't monkeys play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.
What do you call a bear that knows Kung Fu? Pooh-ninja.
What do you call a well-dressed fish? So-FISH-ticated.
Why did the spider become a web designer? Because he was a great spinner.
How do you save a drowning mouse? Use mouse to mouse resuscitation.
Why did the squirrel stay inside? It was nuts outside.
How do you wake up a sleeping bull? With a 'bull'horn.
What fruit do you bring to a soccer game? A corner kick-melon.
What do you get when you cross a monkey and a kangaroo? A jumpanzee.
What did the bird say to the painter? Can you brush my feathers for me?
Why did the koala hug a tree? It was rooting for it.
Why don't elephants have e-mail addresses? They'd always forget their passwords.
Why did the squirrel stay up all night? To avoid the early bird.
Why did the pelican refuse to pay for dinner? Because his bill was too big.
What do you call a bear that loves to dance? The bearfoot contessa.
What do you call a clever pig? A sow-brainer!
What's a bear's favorite drink? Root beer!
What do you call a bear in Alaska? Lost!
How do you catch a runaway cow? Use a lasso and steer it in the right direction.