My girlfriend accused me of being a transvestite. I think she meant transgressive.

My girlfriend broke up with me because I'm terrible at directions. So I packed up my stuff and right.

I asked my wife to let me know if she sees a giant gorilla in the garden eating a banana. She said she would let me know if she sees orangutan.

Why did the man propose to the calendar? He knew they had a date.

My wife told me to stop singing 'Wonderwall' to her. I said maybe.

I asked my girlfriend if she was a campfire. She said no, why? I said because she was hot and I wanted s'more.

My girlfriend told me to go fly a kite. So I bought one and went outside, she got really mad when I came back and said 'now what?'.

Why did the man break up with his internet browser? It kept giving him pop-ups.

My girlfriend told me to treat her like a princess. So I took her to Disneyland and left her with a man in a mouse suit.

I asked my husband if he wanted to try role-playing in the bedroom. He said sure, and told me to be the maid because the house needed cleaning.

My girlfriend told me she wants to break up because I'm obsessed with parallel lines. I can't deal with one too many curved lines in my life.

Why did the man go to the dentist before his date? He wanted to make a good impression.

I asked my wife if she thought I was a good lover. She said yes, because I always bring out the best in her.

Why did the woman divorce the pancake? He was just too flat for her liking.

Why did the couple go to the seafood restaurant? They heard they had a good mussels.

My girlfriend is like a fine wine. She gets better with age, but too much of her gives me a hangover.

I tried to write my girlfriend a love song, but it turned into a rap battle.

Why did the man bring a ladder to his date? He heard things were going to escalate quickly.

My wife said she wanted to feel like a princess for her birthday, so I made her clean the whole house while I ate ice cream on the couch.

My husband asked me to stop singing 'Wonderwall' by Oasis. I said maybe.

Why did the scarecrow go on a dating app? He was looking for someone to have a 'corny' relationship with.