I asked my husband if he remembered what day our anniversary is. He said he doesn't recall, but he'll never forget the day he met me.

What do you call a snowman in July? A puddle waiting to happen.

Why did the football team break up with the band? They were tired of their quarterback jokes.

I told my wife she should do more push-ups. She said, 'I already push up the bills.'

Why was the chef embarrassed? Because he saw the salad dressing.

I asked my girlfriend if she believes in ghosts. She said she used to, but then we moved in together.

I tried to organize a hide-and-seek competition for me and my girlfriend. But it was a disaster because good men are hard to find.

Why did the chef date the baker? They both knew the secret to a good roll in the flour.

Why did the ghost break up with their partner? They were just too boo-ring.

I told my wife she should do more squats. She said, 'Like I need a bigger butt?'

Why did the gardener break up with the botanist? They just couldn't plant roots.

I asked my wife if she wanted a shopping spree for her birthday. She said yes, but then clarified she meant for me to go alone.

What does a romantic computer do on Valentine's Day? Go on a byte-night.

Why did the archaeologist break up with their partner? They were tired of living in the past.

I asked my wife if she wanted a massage. She said, 'Sure, go find the remote.'

Why did the musician break up with the conductor? They were tired of the same old beat.

I asked my husband to write me a love letter. He said, 'I don't do sequels.'

Why did the candle break up with the match? It just felt like they were getting burned in the relationship.

I told my girlfriend she's my missing piece. She said she's more like a puzzle I can't solve.

Why did the scientist break up with their partner? There was just no chemistry anymore.

A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb goes out, you don't go and buy a new house. You fix the light bulb.