My wife told me she needs more space. So I locked her out of the house.

Why did the math book break up with the history book? They just couldn't see eye to eye.

I told my wife she should do sit-ups to stay in shape. That would be a forward sit-uation.

Why did the girl bring a ladder to her boyfriend's house? She heard he was falling for someone else.

My husband said he wanted to try role-playing. So I told him to be the maid and do the dishes.

Why was the baseball team so good at relationships? They always hit it off.

Why did the lettuce break up with the celery? It just couldn't romaine friends.

Why did the girl bring a ladder to the bar? She heard the drinks were on the house.

My boyfriend always complains that I never listen to him. Or something like that.

I asked my wife if she ever fantasizes about me, and she said yes. She fantasizes about a new husband.

My boyfriend said he needed some space. So I locked him outside.

Why did the balloon break up with the pin? It was too much of a pop star.

I asked my wife if she wanted to go on a date. She said she would prefer the whole calendar.

Why did the snowman break up with the snowwoman? She was too cold.

My girlfriend said I should go to the gym more. So I moved all my video games to the basement.

Why did the pencil break up with the paper? They just couldn't draw it together.

I tried to start a relationship with a book, but it wasn't very open-minded.

Why did the baker break up with the pastry chef? They couldn't find the right recipe for love.

Why did the math teacher break up with the history teacher? They just couldn't see eye to pi.

My boyfriend thinks I'm too nosy, but what does he know? I'll check his phone later and find out.

Why did the strawberry refuse to date the grape? It couldn't handle the sour grapes.