Why did the chicken go to church on a Sunday morning? To peck-tate in some prayer.

How did the Roman Centurion fix his computer? He nailed it to the cross.

Where do demons shop for new outfits? At the 'Hell Couture'.

What did the spiritual yogi say during meditation? 'OMG'.

How do you know when a church is heavy rock? When it's AC/DC.

What's a pastor's workout routine? Holy cardio.

Why did the pilgrim's car break down in front of the church? It was 'Plymouth' Brethren.

What do you call an extra-large nun? A roman numeral.

Why did the chef become a priest? He wanted to serve a higher calling.

What do you get when you mix a priest and a comedian? Holy laughter.

Why did the vegetable go to church? It needed to confess its sins.

What do you call a thief who steals from the church? A 'holy' roller.

Why did the belt get promoted in the church choir? Because it held up its pants.

What do you call a nun who is a vegetarian? A 'pastor' salad.

What did one Bible say to the other Bible? 'You've got a lot of scripture.'

Why did the vampire become a priest? He wanted to find salvation in the blood of the lamb.

What's a pirate's favorite religious holiday? Arrrmageddon.

Why did the atheist go to church on Sundays? He wanted to hear some 'good' arguments.

How do you know if you're at a church service for tech lovers? They have a 'holy' keyboard.

Why did the monk bring a key to church? To unlock the mysteries of faith.

How do you know if a nun has gone Hollywood? She starts wearing a 'habit' on the red carpet.