What do you call a priest who tells dad jokes? A pun-dit.

Why do vampires never go to church? They can't stand the sight of a holy water fountain.

How do you know Adam was a coffee lover? He was Hebrews-ing the grounds.

What did the atheist do on Black Friday? He stayed home and didn't worship the discounts.

Why don't angels play hide and seek? Because they always find you.

What does the Pope say when he plays basketball? 'Holy shoot!'

Why did the pastor start playing the trumpet? To blow the believers away.

What do you call a nun with a sense of humor? A sister act.

Why wasn't the church willing to invest in the stock market? They preferred the Bible's dividends.

How does a pizza get to Heaven? It goes through lots of prayers.

Why don't demons like fast food? They prefer to possess a good home-cooked meal.

What do you call a squirrel that goes to church? A pew-nut.

Why did the pastor open a bakery? To knead a little bit of heaven into every loaf.

How did the priest pay for his car? He used holy credit.

Why don't cats like churches? They refuse to play second fiddle to a higher power.

What kind of car do ghosts drive? A boo-ick.

Why did the nun join the track team? She wanted to show that faith can move mountains.

How does Santa Claus stay so jolly all the time? He believes in elf-care.

Why don't angels play cards in Heaven? Because they can't handle the halos.

What did the preacher use to fix his computer? A prayer button.

What do you call a sheep that doesn't follow the flock? A black sheep with faith.