Yo mama is so old, she knew the DJ when he was just a J

Yo mama is so dumb, she went to an archaeologist to get the latest dirt

Yo mama is so old, she had a pet dinosaur growing up

Yo mama is so short, she needed a footstool to get on a curb

Yo mama is so greedy, she took a shovel to the beach to get her 'share'

Yo mama is so old, she had to return her birth certificate because it was too outdated

Yo mama is so hairy, she styles her leg hair in a bun

Yo mama is so short, she does a somersault under the bed to get up

Yo mama is so lazy, her idea of exercise is changing the TV channel manually

Yo mama is so dumb, she tried to alphabetize her smart phone contacts

Yo mama is so fat, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl

Yo mama is so greedy, she took a coin to the wishing well

Yo mama is so dumb, she put a ruler on the corner to find the area

Yo mama is so hairy, she uses a chainsaw to shave her legs

Yo mama is so fat, when she goes to the beach, her shorts say 'Decembuary'

Yo mama is so short, when she tried to eat a jolly rancher, she choked on the 'rancher' part

Yo mama is so clumsy, she couldn't pour water out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel

Yo mama is so lazy, she brings a spoon to the ice cream shop

Yo mama is so lazy, she doesn't chase anyone, they chase her

Yo mama is so ugly, even her dog has a blindfold

Yo mama is so slow, she was chasing a turtle and got lapped